Orphan rewritten story
by horsegirl3712
Summary: This is a story will Esther and how she got to their adopted family. This is an exellent story to show you how Esther thinks and her feelings towards her parents.


I'm not sure what my life sums up to by now, but i never had the life many average people seem to have. I don't recall any memories of my childhood with my parents because i never met them , or i did but they didn't keep me for a long time, so there is no way i could evaluate my past. I do know that I've been in an orphanage since i was 2, or as these stack of papers indicate. Here in Russia there are many abandoned kids and as i don't like to use these terms i say that it is simply a kid that is devoted to loving parents. I just turned 17 last week but because of my rare disorder i never feel like it in any way, except mentally.

I remember clearly the doctor saying the exact words '' I'm sorry Alina but you wont be growing normally like other kids, maybe a few inches, you have a rare disorder called dwarfism''

I hated this doctor because he wanted to make me suffer! The pain this doctor left was beyond repair because i would never change. Maybe my parents saw me as different or abnormal and thought i was a disgrace to have... Nevertheless since that day the doctors words lingered inside of me and sleeping wasn't an option for me, my head was filled with nightmares, i was so dimwitted to think that people would love to adopt me but how when all i am is a midget? NO ONE UNDERSTANDS how i feel, even if they say they do. I've always noticed parents lieing to their kids, to make them feel better of course. But does that make matters better? I just want a family, to be loved, i want a dad. I always day dream about having a dad and how i could hug him and show affection while cuddling up on the couch watching a movie... just him and I. I needed to find a way to be younger looking so i could have more time to be adopted before i turn 18 and the orphanage sends me away to find a job.

I thought about it, through the day and into the night peering as the sun sets and the room fills with everlasting darkness, reminding me of time and how fast it goes. A wave of thoughts overcrowd my thoughts and then the perfect idea hits me. I do hate waking up early in the morning but as the saying goes '' If you really want something you will push yourself to do just that'' or something like first layer of sunlight hits my face and i get up in a rush. I check the halls and none of those pesty nuns are there to send me back to sleep. HELL they must be warm and snug all bundled up in their bed to think that anyone would do the contrary! i sneak into the office and swiftly skim all the names of the orphans till i find my name in the mid end of the list. ''Alina sovolov'' and deleted all my records. Packed my bags and left.

I was now on the streets, and i was not proud, but how can i stay in such a dreadful place where we get porridge everyday for lunch, not to mention what we are accepted to eat for dinner. Personally, i don't think that ''chef'' knows how to cook. Probably some hobo trying to find a job and told our orphanage he knew how to make ''gourmet food.'' One day ill buy him a dictionary. As i was walking father away from that hell hole i came across a wooden door on the side of a convenience store, although i don't conclude that its the same store. The lock was rusty and look like someone never went in this place for at least a decade. I didn't know what to expect but what do you expect from a desperate girl like me? i twist the knob carefully, and the knob stays on, that's some luck! I stroll in to see a Halloween store with various costumes for kids. And this indeed was perfect... If i was planning to find a relatively better orphanage but this time im not going to be 17. No way in bloody hell! im going to be a innocent,sweet 9 year old girl. I gathered a few old styled dresses some ribbons a lot of make up to hid some of my ''womanly'' features that might show in the slightest and a grubby mirror so i could apply some.

''Agata's orphanage'' well sounds about right to me! i knock on the door... hoping that my appearance seems enough to pull of a 9 year old look.

'' Hello'' a rather young lady with blondish hair said to me in such a welcoming voice.

'' Hello, im lost, my mother left me and i cant find her, i want me mommy!''

The women looked stunned at my words and hugged my without hesitation '' Listen sweetie, come inside and the nuns and i will try to locate your mom. She kept on blabbering on and on when i couldnt even care less until she asked me a question, one that i didnt plan an answer for..

'' whats your mommy's name sweetie''

i quickly replied '' my mom never told me her name, she said i didn't need to know'' I look up at her wishing she would believe my ridiculous story.

''Well im sorry to say darling that there is no way i can find her unless i have the basic information, but for know i will assign you a room you will sleep in until you get adopted or you come of age''

I almost gagged at her last words. What an idiot ill become of age in a year but i will not let that slip out of my mouth when everything is going as planned.

As soon as the next day a young couple came over from America to adopt one of us. It was in the middle of lunch when we had to get up and greet them. I need to stand out! I don't want to live like this forever! These children dont deserve thier love. I need love, the love i always wanted. My nightmares would all dissapear from the confort of my dad.

I run over to the couple and curtsy them and tell them my new made up name ''Esther.''

''hello my name is Lisa and this is my husband john''

'' Its a pleasure to meet you'' i smiled innocently and look at them in the eyes. But i was staring at John because he was so appealing to me, i couldn't help it.

'' And Esther what do you enjoy doing'' Asked Lisa like she actually cared.

'' Well, i don't think im good at many things but i do paint and play piano.''

'' please excuse me and my wife i want to talk to her with the nuns''

I didn't know what to expect but because the couple never talked to another kids i supposed that the talk was about adopting me or not.

In 15 minutes i had finished the rest of my lunch, and trust me it was decent compared to that slop served in that hell hole.

The couple gestured for me to follow them through a bright green hallway that was filled with kids who have left this abode to go to who knows where, hopefully a loving family, not that i care about their fate.

'' Esther how would you like to join us, to be in our family? we have a daughter who is 7 and im sure you guys will abide with each other quite well..''

My eyes shot up in joy and i had my imeadiate answer ready with any thought '' oh how i'd love to meet her, Thank you Lisa and john.''

'' you can call us mommy and daddy now'' Lisa said

I lunge myself towards them to hug them one at a time first Lisa and then john. I hugged john longer and we made our way to the entrance.

We entered a taxi so that we could reach the airport and it took around 20 minutes.

They continuously blared questions to me and i kept them short and simple. Dont get me wrong but acting like a kid is harder than you think and i cant swear, and that is the most difficult thing.

Our flight way delayed for 1 hour so it did become strange as i sat on my ''mommies'' lap. If i had the choice i would have gone to daddy. I think she notied that i acted more affectionate to daddy because she asked me when he went to the washroom if i loved her as much as daddy. It was going to kill me the way she asked my in such sweet voice and used the word ''daddy'' instead of ''dad'' all the time. It took me a while to figure out how to sound reassuring so i said

'' Mommy , i love you as much as i love daddy, you are so kind to me'' and hugged her for a while. I didn't feel guilt one bit about lying to her because i literally had no emotions towards exept for hate because she was blocking my way of daddy.

On the plane i asked to sit next to daddy, which meant i was inbetween both of them. I started to fall ''asleep'' and layed my head apon daddys shoulder. I could smell the clogne he had sprayed. When we arrived in michigan my parents brought me to a house which was beutiful with a garden and a long drive way to fit enough cars for a banguet! Running out the door was a kid a little shoter than i will a slim body and glittery shoes.

''Hello Esther my name is Kelly and im so overjoyed that you are my sister!''

I was debating over rolling my eyes or puking at the sound of this.

'' I know! i was thinking of you the whole way and how much fun we would have!''

1 week later i was accostomed to their dumb rules and abided to them as much as i could. I defanetly grabbed alot of attention in the family. I liked kelly much more than Lisa but daddy is beyond compare, he was handsome this evening as he got a new hair cut and shaved. During dinner i sat beside daddy and always did things for daddy. Passed him the water, the bread, the meat.. etc. when he asked for it. But when mommy did i would let someone else pass it to her. I could tell she wasnt sure about me. Thankfully Kelly and i don't sleep in the same bedroom so i can have my privacy and so she doesnt see me as a ''women.''

Mom was reading on the couch and dad was on the computer doing his usual work. I walk up to mommy and say kindly..

''mommy i know you always tuck me in but i want daddy to do it tonight, please?''

'' um, well , i guess i mean i dont know what difference it would make but if thats what you want im sure he would be pleased to''

'' um, mommy i just wanted to tell you that i hoped not only for tonight but for all the nights..''

'' why?'' she gave me a questioning look and i could see in her icy eyes she was disappointed in my disinterest in her.

''i really, really love daddy. Dont you understand mommy?''

At this point she couldnt believe her ears. She was speechless and thats exactly what i wanted to hear.. nothing! I looked at her again with a blank face, expecting an answer, but there was nothing. I turned around and ran downstairs to where daddy was working busily on him computer the keyboard working as fast as lightning.

I tap on his shoulder. He looks at me and smiles. I go on his lap and hug him as a child.

''daddy will you come tuck me in?''

He gives me a confused look. I understood perfectly why.

'' Mommy said it was ok..''

'' Ah Esther you know there isnt a problem but i am extremely busy so only this time ok?''

'' OK...''

I go in his arms as we go up the stairs and as i pass mom i give her a wicked smile. shes so sensible. I hope she got the point by now.

Dad swiftly lays me on the bed.

'' do you need some water Esther?'' I love the way he askes me instead of mom that always forgets and you have to ask her yourself.

''No daddy im fine, but can i whisper something to you''

He is stunned when i say this since my hand is on his thigh and i kiss him on the cheek.

'' sure why not''

'' Daddy, i really really love you, can you keep a secret?''

''yes..''

''Well when i see you with mommy i can get jealous...''

He immediately stands up and says '' Esther i don't know what you mean but i think you're really tired, goodnight''

There it is i failed, he thinks im weird or loosing my mind, but how could i keep the truth from him? maybe its the way i said it? or maybe a daughter isn't supposed to get jealous of her mom? i don't know but i couldn't know because i never met my biological parents...

I wake up from the sound of whispering and i cant help but eavesdrop when i heard my name.

'' john its not normal.. what she said to you.. jealous of me?! I think she loves you in another way so it's either you talk to her or im going to get her a psychologist!''

'' Lisa listen, i don't think she meant it, i put her to bed at 10 when she usually goes to bed at 9 i think she got really tired and things started to slip from her mouth... maybe she meant it, but we can't know, i think we should wait longer instead of getting all fussed up for no reason...''

'' Fine john, im going to pretend like everything is like normal but if she keeps acting suspicious im dealing with her, think about it , its your goddamn kid you're talking about!''

'' Ok, Ok, calm down... goodnight darling''

When i heard him say ''darling'' my cheeks went red and I got angry. I want him to love me more!

Its been 2 weeks since i heard them talking about me which makes sense since i stopped saying what i felt towards him and kept it to myself.

I was painting a picture in my room while mom mad some tea in the kitchen, or so i thought, when i heard a door open and there she was all smiling like always and sat on my bed, without a word.

''Esther what are you painting?''

''A family walking in the woods'' i said quickly.

'' I was wondering if we could talk a little..''

'' why not mommy'' i said smiling at her.

I sensed that the way she said it was more serious matters than talking about shopping or anything fun that daughters enjoy doing with thier mothers.

'' I know you've enjoyed this family and all our bonds but i was wondering if there was something you wanted to talk about or someone that you might have extra feelings towards''

Will this bitch ever let it go?

'' No mommy, i love everyone just the same'' and continued painting hoping she would leave me in peace.

''Are you sure?''

'' Mommy why do you keep asking questions to me? Are you worried?''

She gave me a puzzled look.

'' Remember when you whispered to daddy a while back?''

'' Why? I only told him and its between him and I.''

'' Well in this house as i told you before, we don't keep secrets''

I go on my bed and fall asleep in front of her to show my lack in interest and i could by the way she left that it wasnt over.

Since then i started telling her i loved her more so she would feel better. I really didn't care how she felt but that bitch just doesn't stop questioning me as if im some sort of prisoner.

And one day i ask where mommy was and the answer was one word ''gone..''

I think she had a hard attack somwhere or maybe even drinking in driving. What a terrible mom. Don't you think?


End file.
